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You: hi
You: nobody wants to talk to me :(
Stranger: hi i'm stupid and ugly and i live under the bridge
You: nice
Stranger: and nobody wants to talk to me either :(
You: i'll pay you food for sex
Stranger: i said the reasons already. :( :D
Stranger: nope, i'm virgin forever, muhahhaa
Stranger: i'd rather starv
You: youre virgin? *gnarf*
Stranger: yes, forever. i said it, you stupido :)
You: i like that
You: ill give you some drugs for sex
Stranger: no, i don't use. you can't byu me easily you moron
Stranger: :)
You: i'm a music producer. i will make you a big star if you had sex with me
Stranger: and now i see why nobody wants to talk to you, you're just offering different things for sex. :( how sad.
Stranger: but i don't want to be a star, i don't want people to see my face.
Stranger: because i'm stupid and ugly and i live under the bridge, as i said.
You: i remember
You: wanna hear a little secret?
Stranger: oh great.
Stranger: yes, why not. tell me!
You: you havte to be stupid and ugly to get a big star
Stranger: :OOO
You: so you have potential
Stranger: oh how nice!
Stranger: but i think i'm still not interested.
Stranger: i prefer a quiet life here under the bridge.
You: thats sadly
Stranger: no it isn't. you should try too.
You: i've tried, but after a time is was boring
Stranger: hey, how old are you? it would be nice to know, then i could decide whether to consider you as a funny person or a pervert. ;) and i suppose you are male.
You: i am 65
Stranger: okay, definetly pervert. :)
You: is that good?
You: can i add it to my portfolio?
Stranger: yes of course! people are always thrilled to find some pervert to be friends with!
You: remember: you dont have to be a pervert to want to look like one
You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15S0g8pG6HU
Stranger: :D
Stranger: i want that look!
Stranger: it's soooooo unbelievable hot
You: wat a moment, there are some 12 years old girls in front of my house. i'll try to lure them in my house with candy
You: i will tell you if i had success
Stranger: okay great, i can't wait what will happen
Stranger: i'm so freaking excited
Stranger: what on earth is taking so long? let me guess. those girls weren't stupidos and they ran away!
Stranger: muahhahhahaha
You: yeah they ran away but i catched one
Stranger: ooo you gonna eat her?
You: but she kicked in my balls and ran away too :(
Stranger: mwahahahah i do so NOT feel sorry for you
Stranger: :)
You: you're not very polite :(
Stranger: i'm really sorry :( i didn't want to hurt you
Stranger: i know that girl did so already
You: yeah....
You: you want to enlarge your penis? or buy some ♂️?
Stranger: but i don't have one :O how could i?
You: youre female?
Stranger: you noticed it NOW. :( oh
You: so ♂️ is not very attractive to you.... i guess....
Stranger: not very
You: you have to know that music business is really hard in this times. i have to earn my money with spamming strangers at the internet
You: you want to buy some fake jewellery?
Stranger: wait a second, i hear that someones stepping on my bridge
Stranger: i'll go rob him, brb
Stranger: don't go
You: good luck
Stranger: hmm it was a success
Stranger: but to continue our conversation
Stranger: i didn't music business has hard times too :o
Stranger: and no i don't want to, i have already too many jewelleries
You: hm robbery seems to be very profit-yielding
Stranger: yes. and it's easy.
You: maybe i should change my branch
Stranger: definetly, just find a bridge and you are soon rich.
You: but for a woman it has to be more difficult, right?
Stranger: yes of course. men are too strong. but i have experience.
Stranger: kids are easy to rob.
Stranger: but they don't have much money or anything else. :(:(:(
You: that sounds logically
Stranger: because it is
Stranger: :)
You: maybe you should robb them on their way to school, so you can steal their lunch money
Stranger: but people in here don't have lunch money. school lunch is free.
You: oh that ****s
Stranger: yes
Stranger: you know what? even though you're 65-year-old music business pervert, i've started to think you're pretty okey person.
You: you could sell them drugs, i heard that its very profitable, and kids are easy to manipulate
You: that was my plan :D
Stranger: :D oh my, i'm so weak. it was your plan all along... :'(
You: don't worry, i'm professional at that
Stranger: i hate professional people
You: nobody can resist my charm
Stranger: i hate confident people
You: youre kind of misanthrope?
You: "I hate humans, animals and plants. Stones are okay"
Stranger: yes, rainbows are nice too.
Stranger: :)
You: ^^
Stranger: well whatever
You: in which country is your bridge?
Stranger: let's marry eachother and fly to japan and then destroy the world.
You: sounds reasonable
Stranger: yes. do you still want me to answer your question?
You: of course, i have to know where our wedding sholud happen
Stranger: okay good, i was afraid that you would insist that we would marry in your music business apartment.
Stranger: my bridge is in finland. where are you?
You: germany. so we should meet on the halfway
Stranger: oh! du sprichst deutsch? aber ich spreche nicht so gut.
Stranger: and yes we should.
You: hehe hattest du deutsch unterricht in der schule?
You: you wanna see one of my music videos? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqXi8WmQ_WM&feature=channel it represents my way of life
Stranger: oh nice. let's see..
Stranger: hmm.
Stranger: i'm considering calling off the wedding. you hurt my feelings.
Stranger: i guess the world is gonna survive, after all.
You: oh that was not my intention
Stranger: okay, maybe i'll forgive you.
You: i didnt want to hurt your feelings, i just wanted to rape you... :)
Stranger: okay, then you are totally forgiven.
Stranger: kidding. :O
Stranger: i'm shocked!
Stranger: i'm forever virgin remember?
You: oh right i forgot
You: sorry
Stranger: okay, you're forgiven. after all.
You: fine :) so when our wedding should happen?
Stranger: hmmm... i don't know. do you want big or small wedding?
You: hm i don't know.considering that we will destroy the world after that, i think a big wedding is reasonable
Stranger: yes, it really does sound reasonable. we should invite all our japanese friends. what the hell, let's invite whole japan.
Stranger: since we're traveling there anyway after the wedding.
You: deal
You: i just need somebody who feeds the kids caged in my basement while i'm not at home
Stranger: oh, i'm sure there's a japanese nanny who can take care of her.
Stranger: oops, you said kids.
You: no, that are not my kids
You: i only hijacked them
You: so dont worry
Stranger: oh right, maybe they'll be able to stay alive until we destroy the world.
You: yes, they sholud enjoy their last days on earth. maybe i'll give them some fresh bread to eat
Stranger: sounds reasonable.
You: you see, i'm a very noble person
Stranger: yes you are, that's why i love you.
You: thanks darling :)
Stranger: you're welcome.
You: what do you think about inviting MTV to our wedding for a kind of reality soap
Stranger: yes that sounds very very good! why didn't i think of that myself?
Stranger: wait a second, i smell people. i'll go rob again. wait here
You: okay. be careful!