Englischen Text, mal eben rüberschauen :)

Kirus · 16. Dezember 2008

Hey Leute habe hier von einem Kumpel einen geschrieben Text bekommen könnt ihr vllt mal rüberschauen und eventuell Sachen berichtigen, oder ergänzen. Soweit ich weiß solllte der Text in voller Vergangenheit geschrieben werden. Habe das Teil eben reinkopiert

While I was going to stand up, the telephone rang. I was very tired because in the night before I was making party. So I went to the telephone and lift the receiver. In a hoarse voice I said: Yes ? Hello here is your grandma. Hello grandma! Steven I would come with your granddad in the evening at 6 clock. Is that okay ? Yes grandma, sure. I tell it my mum. I´m really pleased. OK. Bye. Then I went in the bathroom brushed my teeth and had a shower. 5 Minutes later I went to my computer and I was playing some computergames. After that I´m going to my girlfriend and drove with my scooter to her. 15 minutes later I stayed at her and we went swimming in the nautimo. At first we were going to slide. It was very funny. Then we are going to swim in the whirl. That was cool. We maked many jokes and had a lot of fun. Above all we were going home and watched tv. We were looking Simpsons the best series ever. But in that moment I thought about my grandma. Oh no they had to come at 6 o clock. And my mum didn´t know it. Atonce I called myn mum. Yes ? Hello mum I want to say that grandma und granddad will come at 6 o clock, they called in the morning. Oh Steven you fool now I have to go home and make tee. Yes , excuse me I forgot it, and I sleep today at my girlfriend. Okay Steven. Cheers

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enteka · 16. Dezember 2008

AW: Englischen Text, mal eben rüberschauen

When I was going to stand up, the telephone rang. I was very tired because the night before I was partying. So I went to the telephone and answered it. In a hoarse voice I said: Yes ? Hello here is your grandma. Hello grandma! Steven I would come with your granddad today at 6 o'clock in the evening. Is that okay ? Yes grandma, sure. I'll tell my mum. I´m really pleased. OK. Bye. Then I went to the bathroom brushed my teeth and had a shower. 5 Minutes later I went to my computer and played some computergames. After that paid a visit to my girlfriend and drove to her with my scooter. I stayed there for about 15 minutes and then we went swimming in the nautimo. At first we were going to the slide. It was very funny. Then we swam in the whirl. That was cool. We made lots of jokes and had a lot of fun. In the end we went home and watched TV. We watched Simpsons, the best series ever. But in that moment I thought about my grandma. Oh no they had to come at 6 o clock. And my mum didn´t know it. At once I called my mum. Yes ? Hello mum I want to say that grandma und granddad will come at 6 o clock, they told me this morning. Oh Steven you fool now I have to go home and make tea. Yes , excuse me I forgot about it, and I will sleep at my girlfriend's tonight. Okay Steven. Cheers

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Sorry, aber dein Kumpel hat echt granatenmäßig schlechtes Englisch drauf, da konnte ich gar nicht so viel verbessern, weil ich teilweise echt grübeln musste, was er eigentlich meint. Ich hoffe es ist inzwischen etwas besser geworden. Noch ein Tip: Wörtliche Rede würde ich mit Anführungszeichen kennzeichnen und außerdem sollte er noch Absätze einfügen, um den Lesefluss zu verbessern.

High Contrast · 16. Dezember 2008

AW: Englischen Text, mal eben rüberschauen

While I stood up, the telephone rang. I was very tired because in the night before I had a party. So I went to the telephone and answered it. In a hoarse voice I said: "Yes?" "Hello here is your grandma.", the voice on the other side said. "Hello grandma!" "Steven I would like to visit with your granddad in the evening at 6 clock. Is that okay?" "Yes grandma, sure. I'm going to tell it my mum. I´m really pleased. OK. Bye". Then I went in the bathroom brushed my teeth and had a shower. 5 Minutes later I went to my computer and played some computergames. After that went to my girlfriend and drove with my scooter to her. 15 minutes later I stayed at her and we went swimming in the nautimo. At first we went to slide. It was very funny. Then we went swimming in the whirlpool. That was cool. We maked many jokes and had a lot of fun. Above all we went home and watched tv. We looked Simpsons the best series ever. But in that moment I thought about my grandma. Oh no they had to come at 6 o clock. And my mum didn´t know it. At once I called my mum. "Yes?" "Hello mum I forgot to tell you that grandma und granddad are going to come at 6 o clock, they called in the morning." "Oh Steven you fool now I have to go home and make tee." "Yes , excuse me I forgot it, and I'm going to sleep at my gilrfriends house today." "Okay Steven." "Cheers"

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Die Zeit hat die ganze Zeit gewechselt... ich weiß garnicht was das Past Progressvie da die ganze Zeit gesucht hat.... Bin nur kurz drübergegangen und hab die gröbsten Zeitfehler geändert...

edit: da haben wir es wohl Zeitgleich korrigiert^^

Kirus · 16. Dezember 2008

AW: Englischen Text, mal eben rüberschauen

Cool danke euch Das wird ihm sicher weiterhelfen. Bw ist raus

Englischen Text, mal eben rüberschauen :)

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