Englischtext etwas korrigieren bitte

Dieses Thema im Forum "Schule, Studium, Ausbildung" wurde erstellt von !mm0rtal!S, 14. Oktober 2009 .

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  1. 14. Oktober 2009
    Einen wunderschönen guten Abend meine damen und herren,
    da ich diesen text zu morgen abgeben muss, würde es mich freuen wenn ihr mir mal den text einwenig korrigieren und verbessern würdet, ich weiß ich bin nicht der held in englisch...
    BW'S sind selbstverständlich


    Spoiler
    Dear el nino,
    recently I read an article about reasons for poverty. I know, that you are an expert concering this topic, so I thought you can help me .

    The article I read is mainly about the childpoverty. This text is written by a german scientist who said that 14% of all kids in Germany are official poor, that means over 2.5 million children are living under the social niveau.
    The reason for that are the jobreforms said the poverty scientist Christoph Butterwegge. As a solution he requested the countermeasure in the policy. As a consequence many families are depending on the unemployment benefit.
    Families which are depending on that benefit are outcasts, seperated from the rest of our society. The Childpoverty is increasing, because the cyclical revival on our employment market is mainly passing on our single educate(alleinerziehend?)
    To battle against our childpoverty said Mr. Butterwegge we must battle our unemployment, we must make a statuatory minimum wage and a basic financial security. Our standart rate for children under 15 years must be increased, minimum 80%.
    Our Childrenpoverty is a form of structural force and it can be a lifelong discrimination.
     
  2. 14. Oktober 2009
    AW: Englischtext etwas korrigieren bitte =)

    bitte ich würde mich freuen , brauche etwas hilfe pls pls
     
  3. 14. Oktober 2009
    AW: Englischtext etwas korrigieren bitte =)

    Dear el nino,
    recently I read an article about reasons for poverty. I know, that you are an expert concering this topic, so I thought you can help me .

    The article I read is mainly about child poverty. This text is written by a German scientist who said that 14% of all kids in Germany are officially poor, that means more than 2.5 million children are living under the social niveau.
    The reason for this are the job reforms, the poverty scientist Christoph Butterwegge said. As a solution he requested the countermeasure in on the part of politics. As a consequence many families are on the dole.
    Families who are depending on that benefit are outcasts, separated from the rest of our society. The child poverty is increasing because the cyclical revival on our employment market is mainly passing on our single parents (alleinerziehende Eltern)
    To decrease child poverty we have to fight our unemployment problem, we have to make a statuatory minimum wage and a basic financial security, Mr. Butterwegge said. Our standard rate for children under 15 years must be raised, at least up to 80%.
    Our child poverty is a form of structural force and it can be a lifelong disease.


    ___________-

    Sollte eigentlich gehen so. Schau am besten mal, dass du nicht so viele "that"s verwendest und den Satzbau variierst, dann klingt das ganze auch schöner. Getrennt- und Zusammenschreibung ist im Englischen auch etwas anders geregelt. Wenn du die Wörter (child poverty) auseinander schreibst, dann liegst du meistens richtig.

    Ich habe am Text an sich nicht sonderlich viel geändert. Den letzten Satz vor dem Absatz (passing on...) hab ich nicht ganz gerafft, deswegen hier keine Garantie.
     
  4. 14. Oktober 2009
    AW: Englischtext etwas korrigieren bitte =)

    danke man!
     
  5. 14. Oktober 2009
    AW: Englischtext etwas korrigieren bitte =)


    Dear el nino,
    recently I read an article about the reasons for poverty. I know, that you're an expert concering this topic, so I thought you could help me .

    The article is mainly about child poverty. It was written by a german scientist who pointed out that 14% of all children in Germany are officially poor, that means over 2.5 million children are living beneath social standards.
    Poverty scientist Christoph Butterwegge pointed out, that the main reason were the job reforms. As a solution he requested countermeasures in the policy (Reform selber oder Politik?). As a consequence many families are in need of subsidies.
    Families depending on those subsidies are outcasts, separated from the rest of our society. The child poverty is increasing, because the cyclical revival on our employment market is mainly passing on our single educate(alleinerziehend?) Was soll dieser Satz im Deutschen bedeuten?
    Mr Butterwegge said, to reduce child poverty we have to reduce unemployment, we have to form a statutory framework that consists of minimum wage and a basic financial security. The standard rate for children under 15 years must be increased, at a minimum of 80%.
    Our child poverty is a form of structural force (???) and it can result in lifelong discrimination.


    Hmhm, so gut wie es ging, aber ohne den konkreten Text ist da nicht viel zu machen
     
  6. 14. Oktober 2009
    AW: Englischtext etwas korrigieren bitte =)



    Heist es nicht auch:
    that you're an expert concering in this topic, so I thought you could help me .

    Bin keine Englisch Held aber das ist mir gleich aufgefallen?
    bin aber wie gesagt nicht der meister in Englisch, deswegen lieber noch abwarten bis noch jemand das untermauert.
     
  7. 14. Oktober 2009
    AW: Englischtext etwas korrigieren bitte =)

    danke reicht ^^
     
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